Any amount of time spent in solitude could evoke several things: madness, loneliness, craziness, laziness, restlessness and introspection. That was A LOT of words that end in ness so I had to throw something of a curve ball...I guess I could have used introspectiveness. HA! In this particular instance, I would say all of the above has happened during my stay here in Gort...but before you think that it's a negative perspective...let me clarify...it has been a much needed experience really...I couldn't possibly summarize my entire trip in one blog entry...but in this particular one, I'm compelled to write one of a different perspective...
This house is in total isolation. It's not deep in the country but it's close. There are no city lights. No television. Trevor has an out of date computer (the 1980's kind) and a radio that he listens cricket games and rugby updates on...oh and the lovely BBC news. Those are his two main sources of keeping up on the 'outside world'. He's got a decent music collection (I'm currently listening to Laurie Anderson's Life on A String Album) and some books (lots of Tolstoy, Arthur Miller and gardening books..and some Jane Austen)...so I've been reading a lot and I take walks when the weather is good (which hasn't been that often). The only company I have when Trevor goes to work are his three dogs. It's been the weirdest experience. All the things I didn't want to think about, all the things I didn't want to face came prancing up to the surface...laughing almost maniacally. I was forced to look at them. In other words, I was forced to look at myself...and go inward.
And it wasn't easy. There were tears. There were lots of sighs. And since I accidentally dropped my cell phone in a cup of tea..I couldn't just pick up the phone and call someone. And I wouldn't have cared for the cost because I did that a few times on this trip (thank the heavens for BFF's)...
Then, there was the wave of gratitude. The things back home I took for granted...that I now sorely miss. All the lovely vegan/vegetarian restaurants. The beach and its beauty..the glorious sun and my infamous bike rides...the fact that I don't really stick out when I walk down Main Street because there are other girls with tattoos and multi-colored hair...my dear sweet friends...my Goddess Tribe...electrical outlets that don't need petrol generators to keep them going...Trader Joe's...my heater....and The Vortex...
You never really find out who you are or where you're from until you travel to another place...and then your accent seems different, your lingo....the slang that isn't different amongst friends but becomes a topic of conversation when you're at a party full of Germans, English, French, etc. Then, your hometown really almost becomes part of you...at least it does for me...and I'm really proud of that. I never thought I'd admit that...but it rings true for me..at least for now....
I really am a California girl at heart...I love the fact that we're an eclectic array of different ethnic backgrounds...and we have the best food EVER! :0) And I love the fact that I live an hour away from HellAye and a few hours from San Fran (or The City to the locals)...and the fact that I live 10 minutes from the beach..well, that's just fuckin' priceless....and if I had to choose between the cold, rainy (but beautiful) Irish countryside or the smog-filled beaches and craziness of California...
Well, I would just say....we have fairies, too...just of a different kind...
;0)
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