Saturday, December 9, 2017
I finally have a moment to catch my breath. I was watching the shadows and light dance as I set my coffee cup down.
Here at the beach house, the black dress I’m wearing is camouflaging me as I sit typing on my friends’ black couch. In one week, I became unemployed, displaced and had to evacuate. Then, I slept somewhat in my car with the Stars to keep me company. Dear friends offered their homes as I tried to hold it all together with my usual brave front.
This morning, it just hit me. ALL of it. My own emotions and thoughts and questions and doubts. As I scrolled through my news feed, posts from other displaced friends sharing their own stories…it just fuckin’ hit me and the tears I was doing my best to hold back came flooding down my cheeks.
The sky here is a mix of grey with hints of blue. The Sun rose this morning. The Wind carries a song only a rare few can hear. The Sea continues to kiss the shore again and again.
Please do not mistake my tears for weakness. They carry my sadness and frustration, my joy and gratitude, my story of honesty and recovery. They represent all that I cannot say with words and I was finally in a safe enough place to let them flow.
I don’t know what the future holds for me, for You, for our Community. I know that we can choose to Create it. Whatever we envision, we can Dream It Into BEing.
It’s been a tumultuous ride for me…from shock, fear, sadness, reflection. To gratitude.
Now? I’m feeling antsy. I want to go Home. I also want to hide under the covers and not Adult, but that’s the opposite of being productive…and I need to Channel this energy into creating…something!
My heart goes out to the many friends that have lost their homes. I know some are gathering this weekend to be together, play music and to just be there for one another.
I still need some more alone time. I need to write, heal, cry, laugh and create.
I’m with you all in Spirit. Loving you All always.
That’s all for now. Will update more soon.