Vegan Diaries...

September 14th 2010:
I woke up around noon and layed out in front of the heater as per ritual most mornings. I wasn't sure what I wanted to eat/drink first thing when I awoke but certain things kept popping up in my mind like a dream. Certain fruits and veggies kept floating towards me. Enticing and teasing me it seemed...
I stood up. Toe to heel. Walking w/ invisible high heels on. I was determined to make something yummy. Flashbacks of what I purchased from the farmer's market in Ojai came into vision. My hands and fingers grabbed. Next thing I know, I'm chopping things up. My blender is almost at capacity. My index finger presses a certain button and the wwwwhhhhhhiiiirrrrriiiinnnnnggg sound fills the air.
Magically before me is a 24 ounce smoothie drink consisting of the following:
1 beet, 1 apple, 1 carrot, a handful of spinach and a cup of an orange, peach, mango juice blend.
I've decided to call it the 'Turn Your Bad Day into a Good Day Smoothie' not because I was having a bad day per se...but because once you drink this amazing concoction, you can't help but feel really, really good... :0)
Next, dinner was upon me. Was totally having cravings of Mary's mushroom burger and decided that I had some components in my kitchen that can be combined together for either something just as delicious or even more scrumptious! I defied it all!
Perusing through my freezer, I decided to heat up the last of the tex mex burgers in my cast iron skillet. One teaspoon of butter melted first spread evenly throughout. Veggie burger on. Next up, chopping up 3 organic mushrooms (and don't forget to wash them thoroughly unless you enjoy dirt & grit when you bite down). Throw those in next to your veggie pattie. Lower heat slightly and cover. Shimmy over to the Romaine lettuce and give 'em a rinse. Then, shake shake shake. Literally. Set aside. Got your two slices of sprouted rye bread from Trader Joe's? No? Well, put your panties on and run to the store. Don't forget your shoes. We'll wait. If not, don't worry. Life is not over. Just whatever bread you have in the cupboard will do. I just have a preference, you see. Okay? All here? Let's proceed. I like my bread toasty toasty so I put mine in my toaster oven. If you're one of those weirdos that like untoasted bread just skip to the next part of the instructions. Get the veganaise, mustard and ketchup. And yes, organic, of course.
Check pattie. Flip over. Add 2-3 teaspoons of vegan mozzarella Daiya cheeze on top (the best vegan cheeze ever!). Stir & mix mushrooms. Wash dishes in the mean time. Text your friends. Twitter what you're having and spread the love of the Vegan yummyness. When toast is done, lather both sides w/ veganaise. Take one slice and put mustard on. Do the same with the other slice but w/ ketchup. Check pattie. Should be done. Place on top of either slice of bread. Can't choose? Do the Eeny Meeny Miny Mo thing. Or close your eyes and spin around.. but be careful not to fall into your unassembled, digestible piece of Art. Or you'll have a Ronald McDonald face. No bueno. Mushrooms go on top of pattie. Put it all together. Slice in half if you so desire.
Voila, my hungry readers...perfection right before your eyes. Bites of Heaven in your mouth.
I call it the "Zen Art Shimmy Sandwich".
Now. The 'D' word. Dessert.....the Dharma of Existence. Or the often repeated line of: you had me at melted chocolate stance. For some of you out there that are looking for new ways to 're-use'...well, add this one to your lists. I had a chocolate candy bar that, surprisingly, was not good so I put it in the fridge to be used later either to cut up as garnish, decor or to be melted. For this scenario, I chose the latter.
First, I poured about a 1/3 cup of rice milk in a saucepan on high heat. When it started to boil, I added the chocolate in broken chunks for a melted mess. While that was going on, I took a few organic strawberries, rinsed them thoroughly and sliced them into quarters. Then, I coaxed the vanilla rice dream ice cream out of the freezer to thaw out a bit. I saw that the chocolate sauce was done so I scooped up a tablespoon into a small glass bowl and took some of the strawberry pieces placing them on top of the chocolate. Hope you didn't forget about the ice cream! Pile about 3 scoops right there on top of the strawberries and continue 'layering' until your eyes are ready to bulge out of their sockets. I also wanted to mix it up and put in a few scoops of Mudd Pie ice cream to bring out the colors more.
-Take spoon and do one of the following:
(a) pretend you are in The Matrix. You are Keanu Reeves. Wait. No, you're Neo. Okay. Fine. You're Trinity (Carrie Ann Moss). Better? Okay. Remember that spoon scene? Yeah, take spoon in dominate hand. Use mind to bend spoon....there is no spoon...there is no spoon...there..is...no....spoon...
OR
(b) realize that you're right smack dab in the Middle World with a delectable, amazing Vegan dessert that magically manifested by the sheer will of your imagination (hey, it can totally happen) and all you have to do is....ready?
Dig in.

Oh. My. What a dilemma.
Choose wisely.
Personally, I say fuck the Blue pill...
I'm going in for the kill...
like my Chocolate mustache?
;0)

P.S.
I call this orgasmic sensual playground for your solar plexus,
"I'm too busy right now to answer your call" dessert.
Yeahhh....no explanation needed.