Dearly Beloved

In the dark, all we could hear was the hiss of the stones.  

Some around us breathed heavily as the heat slowly covered us.  

I lowered my head to the Earth.  

My hand reached for the unknown and he caught it, 

grasping it as his fingers intertwined with mine.

I sang, low to the ground, projecting my voice.  

They listened.  

I placed my hand on him as I sang in the dark and his voice joined mine.  

The prayers swirled and danced with the Ancestors.

I needed to lean, 

I needed to finally let go and feel support.  

He was there next to me, 

heart bleeding and his soul baring all.

Being held in the Womb of the Great Mother's arms,

the Sacred Ancestors singing at our feet,

I was left as though naked and raw

facing the Black Mirror within.

And he held my hand through it all

and my armor melted.

We leaned into each other,

my lips kissing his open palm

and even now...

these words are not enough.

Soul

and

Heart Calling

with a

Fire

blazing

in the background.

....

The Voices started their whispering after we all crawled out.  I didn't know what to say or how to act.  Pretend like it didn't happen? Re-remember who we were from the time before?  Ceremony has this way of peeling off the layers and removing any defensive armor we've brought with us.

I felt confusion and slight guilt for what occurred.  I felt as though I betrayed someone dear to me and I also wondered why I couldn't just receive it as a Gift for that's what it truly was.

In all my years I've been on the Red Road, this was my first time something like this transpired.  It never felt wrong at the time it occurred, it was only afterward I allowed the Voices to slither with their whispers.

They began to infiltrate the cracks and seams of whatever defenses were left.  Then, my Onto family stepped in with their Love and Wisdom.

'The Past is Complete.'

I closed the Door then.  To those Fears and Old Stories.  To the times I was hurt by men.  To the pain that said I was unlovable.  To the wounds that lied and said I was broken.  I kissed the door and nodded my Good-Bye.

I am Whole today.  I am Grace today.  I am Light today. 

I embody LOVE always.

I felt you, my Dear Beloved, in those sweet gentle hands that held me with such care.

I felt you in the songs and prayers,

in the fires and the wind...

and in every step I take.

~~~~

PC: unknown

The Women of Hummingbird Circle with The Drum

On Saturday the Community of the Hummingbird Circle hosted a fundraiser for Muhutasen at the Bell Arts Factory in Ventura, Ca.

                                           

We opened for some really talented artists (chronological order of performances): Goodshield Aguilar and 7th Generation Rise, Bad Dog (Mark Shark, JT, Rick Eckstein & Quiltman), Street Poets, and Richard Cabral.  My palms are up.  Mass respect.

And...For the very first time, some of the Women from the Hummingbird Circle came together around a beautiful Drum.  We sang.  We drummed.  We laughed.  We cried.  Our voices intertwined with one another creating a joyous sound as we honored so many women who came before us, who were warriors that died in battle and whom we will never forget.

Our set consisted of five songs: 

The Chumash Welcome Song introduced by our Women's Sweatlodge Leader, Ana

The Women of the 507 introduced by our Drum Leader, Lola

The Willow Song introduced by our Chumash Sister, Judi

The Women Warrior Song introduced by our Drum Leader, Lola

The Grandmothers Song introduced by our Drum Elder, Uncle Debbie

There are no words that can truly describe the feelings I have when I sit with that drum amongst all my amazing sisters.  An overwhelming sense of pride mixed with sadness for those that have passed on and we remember through our songs.   A deep ocean of gratitude and joy for the honor of being a part of Hummingbird Circle.  And Love so infinite that it is my desire that each song we sing reaches all those around the world so they too know love, community and healing.

We are Women.  We are Warriors.  We are Teachers.  We are Dreamers.  We are Sisters.  We are Singers.  We are Wisdomkeepers.  We are Healers.  We are Grandmothers.  We are Drummers.

We are The Women of Hummingbird Circle.

We are Honored and Blessed.

Front row (from L to R): Bella, Sara, Ines and Elena

Back row (from L to R): Lola, Jeanette, Uncle Debbie, Joy, Ana, Me, Andi and Judi

sleep tonight

I find myself unable to sleep tonight. The chatter within is especially incessant. As I close my eyes, I am taken back to Saturday. That morning, our women's Lodge took place where nearly 40 sisters gathered. The different generations were represented as were the many nations. We laughed, we cried, we sang, we drummed. And through our Blood, Sweat, Tears and Spirits...this sacred ceremony deepened our connection to each other and ourselves...the stone people whispered to us, carrying the messages of our ancestors...reminding us again and again of Who We Are. Children of the Earth. Shining Stars of the Cosmos.
Tonight, in the silence of this hour, whilst I battle this insomnia I begin to question Everything. Doubt seeps in, crawling close as it often does. It is in moments like these, I think of our last Lodge...
As I lay there in the dirt, the heat covering me like a blanket, I wrestle with what brought me there. The struggles, the hurts, the patterns I'd like to break free from.
The Blackness Within merges with the darkness inside the Lodge and I find it challenging to breathe. My chest is heavy and I think, "Am I going to make it through this?" A question often asked inside and outside the Lodge.
Then, a Sister begins her song and everything is different. Our voices reach out and connect together like the branches of our Lodge. We sit together in this Circle, sharing from the Heart and become the Voice of many.
Even now, I can still hear the songs we sang that day. Sleep may not come but my Sisters are always with me and for that, I am forever grateful. 

Dear Goddess

Whilst sitting in the Garden at Shama Mama's lovely home, words began to come through in the form of a letter.  It originally was written the day of a community sweatlodge and I intended to share it then, however, when it came to do so as we sat together in the dark with the Great Creator amoungst all of us...it didn't feel quite right.  A few weeks later, in this month's women's sweatlodge, as we all sat together in a powerful Circle this poem jumped excitedly at the chance to share its words.  As we were about to enter into the fourth round and conclude this auspicious ceremony, Dear Goddess sprang forth.
As we sat in Ceremony together, an adjustment was made to address the group in its entirety.  This is the original version.  In Gratitude, Athena <3>

Dear Goddess,
I feel so blessed...
Continue to nurture me
Throughout eternity...
Help us to serve the Light
And to Live what is right...
For We Honor You, the Exquisite Grace
Which is seen upon every women's face...
As we answer the call to ascend and be free,
Let us remember that it's not just you and me...
To embrace All BEings near and far,
Brothers, Sisters, the Sun, Moon and Stars...
The two legged, the four legged and the ones who fly..
From the Sea to the Earth, the Wind and Sky...
Let US stand with the mountains, immoveable like stone...
We Are All One...blood, skin and bone...
Like the phoenix, from the ash We Will Rise...
Our collective voices singing, "Let Love Be Our Guide..."