Journal entry June 29, 2012
Bisous.
Which means kisses in French. A form of greeting and farewell, here in Paris, is a kiss on each cheek. My first night in Paris and I'm in love. Head over heels in love with a city that seems to ooze creativity and romance at the same time.
Whilst walking the streets at night with my host, Javier, the summer warmth finally making its presence known...people came out to celebrate, to sing, to play music, to smoke...couples kissed on park benches and on bridges. We wandered about aimlessly, with no destination in mind. The Eiffel Tower and its amber glow of lights began to sparkle like a million fairies doing a sporadic dance. We crossed bridges. We walked along the Seine. I heard music and wanted to investigate so we followed our ears and descended down towards the water. There were people sitting along the side, close to the edge where the water lapped softly against the stone. There were groups sitting on blankets, food and wine spread, the billowing smoke from their cigarettes casting a mystical but merry scene. The brass from the instruments of the band, glittering and winking as the musicians played their parts, coupled with the joyous sounds of their song added even more life to the festivities of the evening.
There were so many moments I wanted to capture forever but my eyes and memories are far better than a photo can ever hope to convey.
I felt a twinge, a pang of...I don't know...regret perhaps. Paris really is the City for Lovers and I had a moment where I wanted things to be different...envisioning a romantic stroll with my Beloved and the fantasy was dispelled by my cruel reality. Alone. Single. And IN PARIS.
*sigh*
What torture!
Yet, I persevered (cue sarcasm please)! And the first night wasn't a complete tragedy. My inner optimism and sunny disposition (of course) won out. I counted my blessings. I repeated my mantras of Gratitude.
I am grateful for my journey..
I am grateful for my awareness...
I am grateful for my lessons...
Even though, at times, they leave me weeping into an empty container of vegan chocolate ice cream...preferably the coconut hazelnut one....
:0)
Don't get me wrong! I am learning to love where I'm at but there are days when I have this HUGE question mark hovering above my head and I just have to yell out loud: What The Fuck?!
But, don't let me spoil your plans on visiting Paris.
Avec partner or sans one...
It's worth it. Even if you just have one day...
This whole journey and intention for going on this crazy adventure is to see what exactly I am made of.
If I can survive,
live my life
and be happy
with
Just Me...
And you know what?
I found that I could.
Bien sur....
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