Journal Entry dated 01/07/10:

Today is Bill's birthday. This morning, I woke up really early. Thoughts about relationships, how they ended, what I felt at the time and how I feel now, culminated into a realization revolving around my father and what I never received from him...and how I allowed myself a break down and re-building of my being.

The energy I was putting forth needed to stay within me.

What I give to others, I must gift to myself. What I lacked from my father, I must find (internally) the strength to fill that empty void. No relationship, no man or woman can ever fill it.

I, and I alone, must reconcile the conflicts within.