That's french for: I have a weakness for chocolate...
I have this line that kind of whispers...it's the little voice of loneliness that comes out when I think of an old friend: I miss you because you're never here....
Journal entry dated 04/12/08:
And so the warm day is winding its way to cooler temperatures. It's as if Summer is impatient and eager to come out to play. My dreams are vivid and intense as ever. Old lovers stop by for visits, having conversations with ones that have passed on. My training of martial arts continues alongside my inner conflict. This internal war rages on attempting to find semblance and balance in-between the aggressive and masculine behavior that surfaces with the 'feminine' part in me not wanting a hostile take-over. It's a struggle to find what is beautiful, fierce, and strong...all within me...and accepting it as is...
I enjoy the moments when my upstairs neighbor plays his guitar. It makes me think of the kind of life I'd like to share with someone...
Journal entry dated 04/13/08:
Last night was filled with music and experimentation. Listening and learning the language of the music was wondrous and beautiful.
There are these moments that I live for...stepping out onto a porch, overlooking a view of the mountains. The splashes of light and dark greens hits you with a commanding presence... or speckles of yellows and golden browns that can only be seen peripherally while driving speedily down the freeway....then, seconds later....being halted by the emerging emerald green grass against a majestic blue sky....a rosy scene with a pink twist...
I decided to try something new. Allowing the night to unfold...to be drawn in by the melodies and what they say to me. To allow the words to flow through me as they widdle off my tongue. To smile at the reactions and light they create. To shake my head at the ridiculous responses that are unearthed. Oh, how I long to hear the right melodies of words that can unlock my own suppressed inhibitions.
The sink and bins are overflowing. Rooms filled with dust coupled with piles of random objects conjugate a new painting or game of : what does not belong here?
I've realized the difficulty in interacting with new people requires lots of patience..and understanding. The first initial attraction draws you in. Conversation fueled only by desire. Fear becoming an obstacle for depth...so frivolity accents the night like salt and pepper only adhering to the safe haven of surface bullshit.
These thoughts reflect the recent events and confirm my restlessness, my true desire. The poet in me is strong and the warrior in me even stronger...
This craving I have has yet to be satiated. Words of warmth and romance...light sensual kisses of bliss felt in my being...
Drawing on thunder and the dawn, I patiently await for the storm that rumbles in the distance...
Ready...waiting...enjoying the presence of this hungry anticipation...
No comments:
Post a Comment