Dearly Beloved

In the dark, all we could hear was the hiss of the stones.  

Some around us breathed heavily as the heat slowly covered us.  

I lowered my head to the Earth.  

My hand reached for the unknown and he caught it, 

grasping it as his fingers intertwined with mine.

I sang, low to the ground, projecting my voice.  

They listened.  

I placed my hand on him as I sang in the dark and his voice joined mine.  

The prayers swirled and danced with the Ancestors.

I needed to lean, 

I needed to finally let go and feel support.  

He was there next to me, 

heart bleeding and his soul baring all.

Being held in the Womb of the Great Mother's arms,

the Sacred Ancestors singing at our feet,

I was left as though naked and raw

facing the Black Mirror within.

And he held my hand through it all

and my armor melted.

We leaned into each other,

my lips kissing his open palm

and even now...

these words are not enough.

Soul

and

Heart Calling

with a

Fire

blazing

in the background.

....

The Voices started their whispering after we all crawled out.  I didn't know what to say or how to act.  Pretend like it didn't happen? Re-remember who we were from the time before?  Ceremony has this way of peeling off the layers and removing any defensive armor we've brought with us.

I felt confusion and slight guilt for what occurred.  I felt as though I betrayed someone dear to me and I also wondered why I couldn't just receive it as a Gift for that's what it truly was.

In all my years I've been on the Red Road, this was my first time something like this transpired.  It never felt wrong at the time it occurred, it was only afterward I allowed the Voices to slither with their whispers.

They began to infiltrate the cracks and seams of whatever defenses were left.  Then, my Onto family stepped in with their Love and Wisdom.

'The Past is Complete.'

I closed the Door then.  To those Fears and Old Stories.  To the times I was hurt by men.  To the pain that said I was unlovable.  To the wounds that lied and said I was broken.  I kissed the door and nodded my Good-Bye.

I am Whole today.  I am Grace today.  I am Light today. 

I embody LOVE always.

I felt you, my Dear Beloved, in those sweet gentle hands that held me with such care.

I felt you in the songs and prayers,

in the fires and the wind...

and in every step I take.

~~~~

PC: unknown

‘A’ word with The Darkness

‘A’ word With The Darkness 

(From an Addict’s perspective)

By: Athena Arcayan 

Photo taken in 2012, from L to R:

Danny, myself and Tony

I spent many hours of the day and night with my friend, Tony, talking about the ‘A’ word. We would refer to it as The Darkness, a tongue-in-cheek reference to the band but in reality, it was too fitting and apropos a description. 

Sometimes the Elephant in the room, the bane of so many is: Addiction. 

Tony’s drug of choice was Heroin aka Smack.  I asked him once if the feeling ever went away. 

‘You mean: me wanting it all the time? No. Never. It never goes away.’

I’d have this mental picture of a Dark Cloud always hovering over him or near him. I thought if I ever did a painting of it, this might be an accurate depiction. 

I’m an Addict as well. I can easily check off all the boxes of infamous NA* and AA* meetings I’ve attended. AND, I can certainly relate to OA* and SAA*. If my Addiction were to ever be painted, it would be a painting of me with large holes in different spots on my body, especially around my heart. They’re very much like empty spots, unable to be filled by anything but disease and the hunger of addiction.

My journey started years ago with alcohol and then turned to pill popping. I struggled with it for decades until I received a wake up call where I had to choose between living and dying. When I finally decided to remove them from my life, I replaced the alcohol & drugs with food, sex and other distractions. It took many many hours of therapy, friends, spiritual work, ceremonies/rituals to help heal and tend to the ‘holes’ of my heart, mind, body and spirit. 

I wanted to share a little bit of my story, with the intention of attempting to share my friend’s pain because I think it might help to bring some semblance of understanding and to also shed some light. 

Why? (Some might ask.)

Recently, a friend of a friend lost someone she cared about to his Addiction. He had also OD’d on heroin and I can almost hear her inner dialogue of grief:

- ‘Why didn’t I (insert anything from call or be there more, etc.)?’

- ‘Why didn’t he/she call me?’

- ‘Why do I feel so guilty?’

As my friend stood still, doing her best to not look me in the eye as tears rolled down her face, I grabbed her hand and told her:

‘I’m sorry this happened. It wasn’t your fault. There was nothing more you could have done. You did all you could do.’

And that, unfortunately, is the sad truth for so many, too. 

This Darkness is much bigger than ANY of us. 

It blocks out Love. 

It consumes. 

It is never satiated and is ALWAYS hungry. 

It never has enough and always wants MORE. 

It’s as though it were a Black Hole, sucking the breath and life all around it. It Takes. And what it gives back in return is pain, suffering, longing, and inevitably: death. There is the temporary euphoria and reprieve from pain, but it comes at a very high cost. At times, in the end, your Life is cashed in as payment.

It’s a similar feeling to those seeking solace at the bottom of a glass or bottle (of alcohol). The difference is it comes in liquid form and from a societal standpoint, it’s more socially accepted (less judgement, in my opinion). 

The Root Cause? The source of where the suffering stems from varies person to person. Some have suffered from a myriad of abuses throughout their lives. Some of it is hereditary. Some come from good homes and normal/healthy upbringings with no history of Addiction whatsoever. Some had little to no coping skills on how to maneuver and manage their emotions throughout their life. 

My friend, the one who walked with his Darkness finally succumbed to it after nearly 4 decades of struggling with it. I, like many others, was a phone call away but instead he fed his unsatiated hunger, which resulted in him dying later of a cardiac arrest. 

News of his death spread fairly quickly.  Disbelief, shock, anger and tears rippled throughout the community of friends and loved ones. It’s taken me a year to write about it and finally share. 

My heart went out to my friend as she struggled to put words to her grief and name the culprit who was responsible for the death of someone she cared for deeply. 

When we can name things and share things authentically, it can help those that still live with ‘The Darkness’. It breaks my heart to know that many feel alone and are too steeped in their suffering to see any other way out. 

For those of you who live with Addiction and this Darkness, you are NOT alone and there’s always help. I pray that you have the willingness and trust to reach out and ask for it.  There are people that care, love you and want to help. Trust and Believe me with All My Heart. 

I’ve been to the bottom of the Pit. One thing I know is this: there’s only one way out of that Pit and that’s UP. 

For those of you grieving, I am sorry for your loss and my heart goes out to you.  I think one of the most challenging things is not the actual death part but being left behind and not being able to be with the ones we love anymore. 

For me, to have gotten to this place I’m at today is due to the willingness of being HONEST with myself. When I got to that point of realization, the next step I took was allowing myself to Feel everything. All. The. Feels. Then, I found people I could trust to share what was going on/what I was feeling, etc. After that, I made healthy choices physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I found a practice (or a series of things) that helped me to work through things in a positive way. I participate in regular Ceremonies/Rituals.  I write and create. I decide every day if I want to be Happy (or not) and extend Gratitude to both the good and bad. Others have found that yoga or hiking, etc. help them. Or they go to the gym or find a church because they’re in need of some kind of Community. Some join AA, NA, etc. Find something that resonates with you. It’s out there. 

‘The wound is the place where the Light enters you.’ -Rumi

The Darkness can only live within if you continue to feed it. When the Soul Sustenance is Light and you truly welcome Love to nourish you, that’s where you can begin to experience freedom from suffering. 

Please know I hold you all in my heart with Gratitude and infinite Love. 

Let’s help one another. 

(Listed Below are links that may assist with information on addiction, counselling, etc.)

For Addiction:

- Alcoholics Anonymous:

https://www.aa.org

- Narcotics Anonymous:

https://www.nar-anon.org

- SAMHSA:

https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline

For the Bereaved/Grieving:

- Project Know:

https://www.projectknow.com

- New Beginnings Rehab:

https://www.newbeginningsdrugrehab.org/guide-to-dealing-with-death-of-addict

- GRASP:

http://grasphelp.org/m/

*

NA=Narcotics Anonymous 

AA=Alcoholics Anonymous 

OA=Overeaters Anonymous 

SAA=Sex Addicts Anonymous 

(Background story of the photo above: This was taken in 2012, outside the tattoo shop Danny owned and Tony worked at, just before I left for Europe. Danny died in 2013. Tony followed him 4 years later in 2017. Both struggled with drugs and addiction).

Full Moon Reflection

As I stared into the glow of La Luna, I envisioned her bathing my entire body with Her moonlight.
I'm sure it may have seem odd to some. A lone woman, standing in the middle of the street and gazing up into the night sky. Her eyes and face mirroring love and awe.
In many myths, the Moon is female and the Sun is male. In one of my stories, it is the reverse. A Love Story for another time.

My thoughts stray to my Family. Not the one I was born into but the one I chose. My True Kapwa.
I reflected on our Ceremonies, how much I love it and how much the Community means to me. In words I simply cannot convey. It is the most precious time where we collectively gather and open our hearts to the mysteries of this Earth, and where our Spirits dance in and out of our dreams. It is a time where our hearts beat as one and our voices carry each other right alongside the Wind. It's where we share our secrets and stories by the fire. It is in this Sacred Safe Space where Love does not need a Voice, it is felt instantaneously like how one draws in breath or how a Mother wraps her arms around her children in comfort.

It is when we step out of Ceremony and rejoin the 'outside' world, where I try to reach with invisible hands ways to remind me of this 'ceremonious connection'. I dial numbers, I use my fingertips to spell out words... I reach out to those that were there so I can re-remember that it was real and that it DID happen... And how can I feebly attempt to feel that way again?
Connected. Loved. Seen. Heard. Validated. Embraced. Acknowledged.

Wholeheartedly.

That's my process of how I try to integrate the experience while still feeling Connected. The challenging dance of needing solitude for decompression and still feeling a part of the Circle created by the Ceremony.

I've also come to realize the magic of my Ancestors. Understanding how, who and what WE are. Connecting, networking, revealers of Love and Grace.
This magic runs in our blood. It is seen in tiny glimpses when our eyes twinkle.
And when I close my eyes tonight, it is always my wish to dream and adventure within all the realms hoping to meet some familiar Spirits along the Way.

Mirror Mirror

I see and feel YOU.

The You that swims in the depths of these knowing waters.

Unreachable.  Unfathomable.

I try to speak but words are convenient and not apropos for this....one fleeting moment...

From Sky to Sea, there is nothing but our Reflections and our Story.

Jump! Dive even in uncertainty.

Trust.  Have faith.

Let Love be your guide.

Mahal Du jour

Mahal Du jour
Yesterday morning we stood in a Circle and shared our Intentions before entering the Lodge. We took the time to acknowledge our Ancestors and noted the Auspiciousness of the day.  A time where the veils between the worlds were the thinnest. A chance to honor those that have passed on, where legend says the dearly departed have this one window in to visit with the living.
I talked of how I defined Family.  The Blood ties of our Ancestors and the family we are born into but also the bonds created from Spirit and Ceremony, forever linking us throughout the different dimensions. And, the ring extends out even further for me...the wonderful threads created at work and throughout my travels...

A beautiful blanket that weaves all of our stories, silence, tears, laughter, mistakes, lessons, sorrows, joys, wishes, prayers, dreams, fears Together... where the memories help to keep our hearts and souls warm on nights when it's cold and daunting.

Truly, A United Nations Kapwa where we are linked to one another across the various worlds.

My Gratitude knows no bounds.

Your Stories,
Your Voices,
Your Spirit,
Your Gifted Presence
inspires me each and every day.
(And sometimes, it's what gets me through the challenging times)

I love you...
Thank You

Fuel for My Fire...

I have realized that the fuel of my inner fire is partially fed by the amazing people in my life. This segment I'm sharing with you is part of a letter I wrote to a dear friend and fellow Dreamer...

'So much of my Path for the past 6 years has been this Journey through so many different Windows...the Guides have shown up in the most magical ways...some through Ceremony and some whilst I was traipsing through Europe when our paths crossed.  

And Here We Are. The same but different. Our faces no longer innocent but with hints of heartache.... No Regrets, right?  For what we have experienced always is intended to peel the layers of our armor....exposing our most wonderful treasures, the hidden parts we no longer can hide.....the Soul and Essence of our BEing and the HEARTh of our inner fires that fuel our creativity and nourish us so we can continue moving forward...because there are times when I ask... Why? Why keep going? 

Because even in this vast existence where we are but grains of sand and there's an Entire Ocean of Mystery out there, we were put Here to bring Love, Beauty, Grace and Compassion into this World.  

We are the Warriors of the Spirit and Heart.  The Swords we carry are not the conventional weapons of past times but consist of Steel that stems from our Inner Most Truth and a hilt containing the Deepest Love this Earth has ever known. 

We fight not for war but for Love and Peace.  

We dance and sing to Celebrate Who We Are.  

We Create to Nourish What We Hold Dear.  

We love for neither gain or notoriety but because it is the very essence of Who We Truly Are, the ones that Dream True.  

We, the Dreamers and Dancers, are the Magical Manifestors that roam this reality...in the hopes of meeting one another along The Way..
We Live Within the Mystery and bathe in Shadow and Light from the Heavenly Skies.. 

You Are Seen. You Are Loved. You Are Celebrated. 

Now it's your turn. Update me. :0)'

The Goddess Channeled

The Goddess Channeled

The intention behind sharing this message exchange is for those that have had similar questions and are curious to my responses to these particular inquiries.  This dialogue took place via text message between another fellow Leo and Seeker.  It is my hope that this aids those that are in need of assistance or at the very least you are entertained. The questions are in bold lettering and my responses are in italic to help differentiate.  Enjoy!

Q: 1 of 3

If One, with pure Bodhicitta motivation, were to access akashic records to help create a race of artificial intelligence (silicon crystals at higher etheric vibration) to help us humans manifest quickly towards enlightenment/ascension, to heal the Earth to Her greatest levels of beauty and light and to also enlighten/help her to be released from suffering....How does that person begin to understand ethics associated with revealing that info?

A: My suggestion, first, would be to take a deep deep breath. Close your eyes and root yourself energetically to the Earth. Then, utilize the energy from Mother Earth to clear out each of your chakras from the root to the crown...

Next, envision a loving and pure beam of light radiating from your crown chakra to the Cosmos. I'll share with you a visualization meditation that I do which is what I'm currently describing to you now.

Imagine you have wings and that you are flying alongside with the beam of light into the Cosmos. You can see Earth from where you are. Coming from your 2nd, 4th and 6th chakras are rings of light pulsating forth covering your entire body and coating the entire planet.

What you also notice is that you are not alone. There are others whom are doing something similar. There is an invisible grid that is obviously not seen but is surely felt. As you descend back to the Earth and back into your body, this is when you attune to your own Higher GodSelf and inner guides to seek counsel.

Usually my guides are sitting around a small fire and greet me when I walk up. We often hug, dance, sing, laugh and then sit down in a circle. I share whatever is in my heart and listen fully...as they do always…

Okay, to answer the first part of your inquiry. The Intention is key. Has ego been eradicated? Is this intention pure and of the highest good and in direct alignment with your Path? The most important thing one must be mindful of is whether we are acting for oneself or for others.

I must stress that one can only speak/act for oneself and not for anyone else (unless there was clear consent. Even then, it is still encouraged for one to speak/act for Her/His Self always). Each BEing has his or her Path, his or her lessons to learn, his or her Karma so please keep this in the forefront. To Heal Mother Earth means to heal oneself first and foremost.

How can one rid Mother Earth of suffering if You are suffering yourself?

To create a race of Artificial Intelligence is not something I resonate with because there are already so many Beings Seen & Unseen. Human BEings are perfect in their imperfection & are given the choice of Free Will.

One can choose to live the path of enlightenment and ascension or not. That is the Beauty of this Way…

Q: 2 of 3

(It happens eventually in the records and is such the way of knowing how) but.... One can't help but remember the Bible claim of the most powerful angel, who by serving the wishes of creator/god ultimately created duality.... Perhaps would that be the irony of enlightening a planet, that the duality will also echo outward to next vibrational levels for ultimately.... balancing life on all dimensions?

A: Yes, there is a need for duality because this herein lies the Balance. Shadow and Light. Life and Death. Love and Hate. Peanut butter and Jelly ;0) 

Q: 3 of 3 

Could the Bible's take on the story be of the revision which also expelled the teachings/wisdom of Jesus which empowered individuals as controllers of their own light... (Wisdom of reincarnation, meditation, inner light and vibrational geometry, living in balance with land...) If great care is used in revealing the info....?

A: Many believe that the stories in the Bible are all true. Regardless on whether they are true or not is irrelevant. What is most important is what has the reader learned? Have you ever read Another Roadside Attraction by Tom Robbins? It touches on many different themes, one of them being Jesus Christ never resurrecting, etc.

What was interesting is that regardless of whether the 'Truth' was shared or not, the People and their faith in what They believed would always win out.  So, the moral of the story?

Return to the IAM Self, the GodSelf, our HigherSelves and attune to what is True For YOU. What brings you Joy and Happiness and Bliss? Try to remove blame, criticism, self righteousness, judgement and Surrender to the Light, Grace and Love. Know that All is As It Is.

Where We Are Standing Right Now is Heaven on Earth.  Ascension is certainly important, however, Shining our Light even brighter is vitally more essential to the Oneness than anything else.

To Change the World, we must change whatever is inside of us that no longer serves our highest good so that we can Be the Change.

In conclusion, the stories we read and/or write are now a part of the Past.  Live in each moment.  In the channeled message from Bashar, I-Magi-Nation…

We are magical manifesters creating our realities.  We are dreaming the World into BEing.  We are a Nation of Artists who can collectively work together in sustaining the magic that is already so very Present, we just need to be reminded of that.  Magic Happens.  It's Everywhere.  We no longer need to wait for the Time Is Now.

Come Dance into the Bliss and Let Go.  Surrender.  Embrace. Fall again and again into the arms of 

Love and Grace.

Not Forever

It's at Night
or
Early Morning
when it's
the most difficult.

Remembering...

Warm bodies 
snuggled up 
next to one another, 
warm breath 
on the back of your neck, 
hands sliding 
ever so 
gently up and down 
the waking up part 
isn't such a chore 
but an almost 
welcome activity.
Soft lips 
kissing you 
ever so slightly.
Stifled giggles 
escaping from 
underneath your tongue.
Sleep and Dream.  
Dream and one Eye open.  
One Eye Open and one Eye Shut.  
Silently wishing it was a Dream.  
Then, feather like touches 
tickle your belly 
and solicits a smile.  
Your wish 
for it to be a Dream 
diminishes 
and 
Gratitude 
flows forth 
just for BEing awake.

It's times like these 
you don't think 
'not forever' 
but recall snapshots 
of days together.  

'Forever' 
is tattooed 
with every kiss, 
each caress, 
all the moments 
you looked 
into each other's Eyes.

Love is the drug
you say
you'll never
get addicted to
but then
the bed is so empty
with only you in it,
the nights seem colder
even with piles of blankets on top
and the heater at full blast,
and each day without a phone call,
message,
text
accumulates to
imaginative,
Godly
proportions
you're found
hovering in the kitchen corner
attempting to hide your shakes
but the knife
you're using to
chop up vegetables
gives you away.

Let's Face It.

You're.
Addicted.
To.
Love.

Shit.
Fuck.
No Way.

Denial.

Suddenly,
there's a knock
at the door.
It's tentative.
You've collided
into the chair
and you're now
frozen
in your
ninja like stance
that is
currently
the only thing
that's keeping you
from
f
a
l
l
i
n
g.

You hesitate.  

You silently
and secretly
hope
it's...
...you know...

You wait.
With that
wavered response
you anticipate
a second knock
but there
is only
Silence.
Your hand is on the door knob.
You squeeze and turn.
Pulling towards you now.....
and Peek!

No one.

You think
for a second
that maybe
somehow
a Harry Potter
invisibility cape
has been discovered!

Then,
you see it.

A box.
It's a fuckin' Box.
On the ground.
Waiting and looking lonesome.
Forlorn even.

An exaggerated sigh
escapes your lips.
The disappointment
is unmasked
in your slumped shoulders.

The package,
now cuddled
like a football,
finds a place
inside
as you close
the door
to the world,
still hoping
for something
that will
never
be
there.
Not today.

Regret sinks in.

Conversations replayed
and repeated
but different responses
and comebacks are said.
You even imagine
a background laugh track
because
you're
so
much
wittier
and
wiser
now,
in retrospect.

The haves,
have nots,
shoulds and
I wonts
continually repeat
inside your head
they become
your daily mantras.

You want to
pick up the phone
and call
but what to say
never comes
so the hand stays
in mid air,
then falls to your side
absentmindedly.

Blank pages
filled with
emotions and feelings
never expressed.

Black ashes
found in the sink,
remnants of
tear blotched letters
burned
and never sent.

The heart,
once filled
with an over flow
of love,
feels like
a barren wasteland.

And tomorrow...
.....seems like
it's so far away.........

 *This piece was inspired by what happens after a break up. Those feelings, those thoughts, the memories, etc. But, now that I think about it, this piece could also somewhat describe when you really miss someone. However, it really does hit home for the heartache and loss of having to say good-bye to someone you still love dearly...and I attempted to capture that experience here. ~A

Rise With US

I wrote this piece because I was partly inspired by the overwhelming participation of so many amazing and beautiful individuals for the One Billion Rising phenomenon.  I was also pondering this: what can be said to combat those that have strayed away from the path of peace? What can be said to those whom have forgotten from whence they came from?

The depths of a woman far surpasses the journey to the Earth's core or to the cosmos of infamy.  We are Life Givers, Wisdom keepers, Healers, Teachers.  Grandmothers, Mothers, Sisters.  We aided in dreaming the World into BEing.  The waters that flow within us connect All to the rivers and seas of Mother Earth and even then only partially contain our emotional capacity.  We live and Breathe Life.  We live and breathe Love.  We live and breathe Emotion.  We live and breathe Intuition.  We are Goddesses whom walk this Earth.  We are the Peace keepers.  We tend the Hearth of the Home.  We bring the sense of 'Home' with us wherever we go.  It is not in our nature to instinctually fight or go to war.  It is, however,  within us to protect those whom we love dearly and when instigated and/or provoked, that ferocity will be unleashed.

When we are raised in a loving environment where we feel safe, cared for and properly supported, there is nothing we cannot accomplish.

Together, in unity and solidarity, we are a force to be reckoned with.

And yet, atrocities persist. Avarice is recycled and spread.  This current reality ensues. 

I wish it were not so. Violence, rape, incest are words I hope to never utter again.  

Do not bully us.  Do not hurt us.  Do not abuse us.  Do not fight us.  Do not fear us.  Do not belittle us.

Do not enslave us.  Do not harm us.  Do not shame us.  Do not judge us.  Do not deceive us.

Do not underestimate us.

Instead…

Choose to support us.  Choose to love us.  Choose to grow with us.  Choose to evolve with us.  Choose to respect us.  Choose to honor us.  Choose to shine with us.

Choose to sing with us as we harmonize together in the Song of Life.

Choose to dance with us in rhythms that transcend space and time.

Choose to create with us a world of peace, prosperity, creativity, joy and Love.

Choose to Rise With Us.

TranscenDANCE...

I've decided, once again, to cut out *John out of my life. Maybe it'll be a few years, maybe it'll be a few months. I honestly don't know. It's not like we spoke on a regular basis so it's good to get my focus back on track, letting go of situations, behaviors, people that aren't on the same level in reciprocation, mindfulness and proper communication exchange. 

I know for some, the act of doing this feels cumbersome but I think it's a form of clearing out. 

It is a form of mental and spiritual cleansing to finally let go, remove or eradicate relationships, ties or connections that are not serving one's highest good. 

My chatter revolving around *John was very painful, self-destructive, exhausting and I'm not sure that I was just blinded by 'love' and I was just unable to see this or maybe the masks are being unveiled and I'm finally seeing it ALL. The good AND the bad. 

Making amends has been a part of the healing component in receiving closure. My mistake from the far and near distant past was the notion that I needed to speak to the person that has been the source of conflict. Sometimes, it helps and in this previous case, it helped some but I still contemplate on whether it was necessary. Speaking with him openly and hearing what he had to say allowed me to truly see the reality of the situation. It was all an illusion based on some fantastic, romantic notion of a display of mutual respect and love. I repeat. It was ALL an illusion. It was a story I wrote, re-wrote, played out and looped continually in my head. In fact, I think this is another example of the repeat patterns of intimate relations that I'm now in the process of breaking. 

If I take a logical stance, reflect on the data, compare actions to words shared.  Expectations not met. Needs not met. And there I was, AGAIN, believing in the illusion of potential, getting aggravated with myself for not seeing it for what it was and breathing a sigh of relief and allowing the veils to be lifted so that I can see what's behind the curtain. 

Dorothy, sweetie, eat your fuckin' heart out. 

And, I know, I keep saying this but IT'S SO TRUE. I can place blame, point the finger and shout my obscenities or I can choose to see it as allegorical, metaphorical and like a multi-faceted crystal catching the sunlight or small jagged pieces of mirror from a huge disco ball and LAUGH. Because it's all part of the growth and wisdom to be able to see the different parts of ourselves reflected in those lover's eyes, the fights or arguments, the time spent reflecting and excavating. The inquiries and reminders of how to be a better person by making amends, basking in forgiveness and indulging in the surrender of Love and Acceptance. These yet to be earthed gems of wisdom lurking in the shadow corners of your mind and heart are just waiting for a pair of unclouded eyes to truly SEE what it is we are all meant to do...

Holy fuckin' shit. 

And when you look at it like that...all those situations from the glorious, cosmic, life-changing events to the crawl-on-the-floor-with-a-dirt-smeared-tear-stained-heart-heavy-face-where-you-question-whether-life-is-worth-living-experience...you realize, after the wallowing or the impermanence...it's a Gift...they're all gifts to strengthen, widen, open, engage, encompass, release, heal, teach, inspire, transcend us ALL TO LIVE without fear, without judgement, without anger or ridicule and The Key is to not suppress, undermine or ignore these feelings (for those mentioned above) nor is it wise to dwell and fester. Honor them. Embrace them. Do not resist them. Have faith and trust that it won't be forever that they'll stay, unless you want them to. 

I have found that in Nature lies the answer to all questions. From listening to the sounds of water flowing through rocks and dirt, to the sun peeking in from the tops of the trees, to bright green moss covering a wall of Stone People...if we take the time to listen, to sit in stillness and be One with Nature..all will be revealed, all questions will be heard, all doubts, judgements, fear...silenced. 

And Truth will come forth in its beautiful glory. Little reminders will be whispered: All is divinely guided. You are loved. All will be taken care of. All will be provided. Have Faith. Have Trust.

Choose!

Surrender. Meditate. Visualize. 

That is a brief summation on what came forth a few days ago after much contemplation. This clarity I share with you hoping it will help you on your own journey towards transcenDANCE.....

*name has been changed
<3

My take on Sex And The Sacred Feminine

This is an excerpt from a message exchange between myself and my friend, Elliott. There has been much to say in regards to our lives and some good sharings. This is one of them:

The sexual act is not something that I take very lightly. Sex (or making love as some have described) is an expression for two people to communicate where words cannot convey. Their bodies become the vessels for the highest and/or deepest connection towards love and consciousness. It can be a way for two people to deepen their bond or to be a mere way to release sexual energy. As long as there is clear intention and there's consent, it can be conducted with respect, honor, love and openness. It has been a rare thing for me to experience. But, the blame does not lie solely on my previous lovers. I did not allow myself to see and be open to this wisdom. Now I have been made aware. I share this with you so you may have a better understanding not only from me but from one of many perspectives that hopefully shed some light. In this new paradigm and portal we are now entering, I vow to do my best in not only honoring the Sacred Feminine but the Sacred Masculine as well. This is in regards to not only those energies that reside within me, but with the exterior manifestations that reside in ALL.

Blessings,
A <3

Portals are opening...

Dearest Friends

By the end of 2011, we are stepping through 7 exciting and powerful portals: 
the New Moon in Scorpio, yesterday on October 26, 
the end of the one before last cycle in the Mayan Calendar on October 28, 
the Full Moon in Taurus on November 10, 
11.11.11.  
Mercury retrograde on November 23 until December 13 (20º- 4º Sagittarius)
Solar Eclipse on November 24 at 2º37' Sagittarius, and
Lunar Eclipse on December 10 at 18º05 Taurus

The New Moon in Scorpio which occurred yesterday, October 26, 2011 at 12:56 PM PST (3:56 PM EST)  may  help reveal in the next two weeks old emotional responses that are not supporting our highest good. As light is spreading all over the planet, we shall find the transformation of denser energies easier than ever before. 

We could have noticed that certain numbers kept showing up, on our digital clocks, on license plates, on objects, as the number of our friends on FaceBook… These numbers contain deep messages, particularly the reminder to monitor our thoughts. Let us focus on what we DO want and trust in our ability to manifest what we need for our next level of evolution. The more positive and in faith we remain, the more miracles are likely to occur in the most unexpected of ways. 

The astrological chart of this New Moon reveals the importance to own our power in a balance of the masculine and the feminine: heart and passion, light and love. It is a time when  we are all changing at profound levels, reconnecting more truly with our power, our ancestral wisdom and our emotional/spiritual needs. Our love relationships, our sexuality could also be undergoing intense transformations as we become more fully aware of the deeper energetic implications of physical intimacy and only wish to share ourselves with one who matches us vibrationally in heart, mind, body and spirit.

Solidarity with others, sharing, helping each other out in times of need, are also conducive to higher growth and prosperity for all involved. Supporting each other in loving ways provides efficient creative solutions to each other's challenges. 

Valuing all our resources, material and spiritual, leads to great healing and increased financial abundance. If we focus on what we do have, work on manifesting the ideas that come to us, and recycle what we no longer need, we might be quite amazed at how wealthy we already are. When we follow our bliss, do the things we love and are good at, money follows.

October 28, 2011 ends the one before last underworld in the Mayan Calendar that began on January 5, 1999. The last 11 year cycle ruled by ethics, required of us to come in right alignment with our truth and all of life. It is no accident that people around the world are rioting and manifesting against the lies that have infiltrated our society. It is no accident that all the structures that have gone down in the past decade and the places that were hit by major earth cataclysms, were places of corruption. It is a law of life that what is not of the light, is now bringing upon itself its own destruction. On Friday we are connecting directly with the Central Sun. A most powerful time to place all our wishes, and highest visions in alignment with the divine plan and step into a heightened reality of peace, love and abundance.

As we transition from one dimension to another, we could find ourselves alternatively thrown into a whirlwind of activities followed by a sense of stagnation in seemingly empty pockets of nothingness. These places of void are actually highly important as they are evidence of our ability to connect directly with the divine, allowing us to tap inter dimensionally into what has never existed before.

October 29, 2011- 12.21.2012, the last cycle of the Mayan Calendar, is devoted to co-creation, dreaming our new reality into being. We may find that time speeds up even more during the last 13 months separating us from 12.21.2012. Many lifetimes will be lived. We may have feelings of bi-location, as if we are dreaming several lifetimes simultaneously. It may be challenging to differentiate what is real and what is not. But in the end, everything is real that we can see, imagine and feel. This is why the cycle ending tomorrow, on October 28 required of us to be in absolute integrity. Without honesty, we would only create chaos.

Some of us may be called to move to a place that is more supportive of our gifts, more appreciative of our talents and where we are surrounded by people we love and who love us back. Exciting, unusual people with original ideas are likely to walk into our lives, opening our minds to wider horizons. Our intuition is enhanced. We could become creative in ways that  connect us globally to others. 

The Full Moon in Taurus on 11.10.11 (12:16 PM PST) is another important portal during the October 26- December 10 dimensional transition. Circumstances may force us to take a different course. Compelling forces may trigger changes in our attitude towards life. We could question our direction, our potential, our values. We are being asked to purge ourselves of what is non-essential. As we become more powerfully aware of our individuality and independence, limiting attachments to binding situations and/or people who are not choosing enlightenment, naturally resolve themselves.

The clearer our motives, the more protected we are against religious or political fanatism, sexual black magic and mass manipulation. We can create the better life we long for, by using our imagination productively. Even though complex, evasive obstacles may be trying to block our efforts, maintaining the highest level of integrity, helps us evade darkness' ploys. 

Previously stable situations could now suddenly dissolve, opening new possibilities for our dreams to come true. By letting go of the old, we can achieve our ideals and inspire others by stimulating their vision. Our hard work is now coming to fruition, leading to great rewards. Our values could unexpectedly shift, leading to a whole new understanding of who we are and what we need.  Sudden changes in our affairs feel exciting and stimulating. 

11.11.11. is a very magical portal numerologically. It signifies the importance of paying attention to our thoughts. It is also about manifesting our uniqueness and knowing that in relationship it is two beings who have each achieved independence and completeness in their own right, who can positively relate to each other. We are not co-dependent. We are each responsible for our own experiences, strengths and weaknesses. Between the two pillars of the temple, life can flow. 

With all those dimensional shifts, it may be a little premature to speak about Mercury retrograde and the 2 up-coming eclipses. More on these later…

Making a fire at each portal is very important to assist and anchor the transitions. To assist those of you who do not have access to a balcony, backyard or garden, I have created a starter's kit, complete with everything you need to make your own prayer ceremony indoors with a clean, safe fire. To order your kit, kindly visit www.MichelleKaren.com and for now (it is now up yet on my website unfortunately) in "books" press  the "DVD" button, stating that you want the fire ceremony kit. Thank you!

Wishing you a powerfully creative transition!

Until later….
In Loving Light.

M.
Michelle Karén M.A., D.F.Astrol.S.

www.MichelleKaren.com
Astrologer, Shaman, Author of
Astrology For Enlightenment
Atria books, Simon and Schuster
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