A Taxing Day in April

I've been working with this woman named Gwendolyn who is helping me to clean my slate and empower me to be a more powerful being. So, my latest journal entry reflects a little of the process that I'm going through and felt compelled to share this here:

Journal entry dated April 15, 2012

To realize you've been unhappy for a long time can be daunting.  

Sad.  But, enriching. Why? Because now you can do something about it.

I haven't been happy for quite some time.  I just realized that not too long ago.  

I think I was in denial.  The highs and lows of Life I would not allow to conquer me 

but in that regard, I built an invisible prison based on rules, old patterns and precepts preventing any growth or happiness.  This happiness, this joy eluded me and I began to search for it in obvious and unlikely places.  What kept me buoyed up was that 'survivor instinct' skill honed and whittled to a fine point where the transmutation of energy can be processed and changed from even the darkest sources.  However, there is a negative consequence when drawing forth from this particular source.  One becomes so acclimatized to it, you begin to seek it out.  Subconsciously at first and then very blatantly.  

I would know... 

I was privy to this... Too many times to count.

And now, with some much needed and welcome help, the source of my unhappiness and consternation has been illuminated a bit and my search for inner and outer joy commences.  

The Source? 

From within...

but a few things must be removed 

so that I may have a clean slate to jump off of...

diving into the Unknown 

with Pure Bliss 

and 

Absolute Freedom.

<3