Reflection

Reflection:

I have mix matched socks on. I had to get dressed in the Dark and in a hurry. The only light I had was from my phone. In the background, sirens were blaring and the wind was blowing debris against the windows and doors. A voice via a megaphone was instructing me to evacuate. Not even 5 min and I had to choose what would go with me. The ‘essentials’. Drum? Check. Laptop? Check. Sleeping Bag? Check. A few clothing items? Check. Socks and shoes? Check.

I rushed out to my car and I stopped in my tracks. The fire from the hillside that was a few hundred feet from the building was engulfed in flames. La Luna was hidden by Darkness and smoke. Someone pulled over and I leaned in to see if they needed help but they had their phone out to take a picture. Cars were lining the streets. People were staring up mesmerized by the scene before us that resembled Hell and The Apocalypse. I honestly didn’t know where to go. I thought of a place I felt safe so I headed there. I called them, but no answer so I parked in front of their house in Oxnard. I stared down the dark, unlit street. A few stars twinkled at me. I checked social media for updates and news. Fear set in. What will be left standing in the morning? I may have nothing left except for what I took with me, what I had on and whatever was in my storage.

That hit me hard. And I knew I wasn’t the only one.

Calls and texts started to come in. Places were being set up for evacuees to go. I didn’t really want to be around people. I didn’t want to break down in front of anyone and wear my fear on my face. I wanted to hide in the night and seek solace by myself. I wanted to go inward.

I was just laid off on Friday and now this. When I asked The Universe: What’s Next? I had little preparation for...well, THIS.

Fire cleanses. Fire brings renewal. Fire burns what we no longer need or want. Our inner fires can never be put out.

I slept in my car, curled up in my sleeping bag that reminds me of orange sherbet. Regardless of what happens, I’m alive. I’m safe. I have people in my life whom I love and care for. I have their prayers.

The Cross continues to smolder. Homes have been burned to the ground. And yet, Bell Arts Still Stands. Like a Beacon Of Hope through this destruction and devastation. For me, it symbolizes something so profound and meaningful. We will Create. We will continue to Dream. We will Rebuild.

Hopefully, through this tragedy we will rise from the ashes and get through this together and make this city EVEN BETTER. The citizens of this beloved community are some of the best people I know.

I love you All.