waiting
to be picked up.
As I stood there
standing on the sidewalk,
listening to the cars whizzing by,
I noticed monarch butterflies
flitting about
and I smiled.
They come
every year
around this time
to do
what butterflies
do best:
gather in
the plethora
of Eucalyptus trees
off Vista Del Mar
near San Jon Rd
and carry out
love notes
from the fairies
(well, that's what I think).
The sunlight
warmed my skin
and
I closed my eyes
relishing this feeling.
I reflected on my travels,
the changes in my body,
what my eyes took in
and most importantly...
what my heart shares...
how much love I feel
and how much it reflects back
in every one I encounter...
every story I hear...
whispers of encouragement are heard
and that's when I am not only
humbled
but grateful.
I'm 'Home'
but truly...
the idea of 'Home'
when I first left
was an illusion.
Home became
Scotland, England, France, Portugal…
places I had visited and yet
when declaring California as a place where I was born
to people upon first meeting them,
the concept of 'Home' became a question mark.
?
One I didn't have the answer to.
What to do
but
Surrender...
My stomach
rumbled
at that moment,
causing me
to smile again
and I was
taken back
to the many times
where I would
crave
food from 'Home':
Cham's and the Kang Ka Ree dish with yellow curry, potatoes and pineapples,
Corrales and its veggie burrito and yummy salsa,
Red Brick Pizza and it's gluten free, vegan pizza dough with Daiya cheese and veggies,
Mary's Secret Garden and everything on it's damn menu but especially my usual, Cilantro Salad and cheesy tortillas,
Sushi Marina and it's avocado and ocean rolls.
Sushi Marina and it's avocado and ocean rolls.
These moments
of recollection
came when
I was tired,
frustrated
or just a little homesick
and reminders of 'Home'
helped to alleviate
the pangs of loneliness
I felt
at times
on this journey…
And that's when it dawned on me…
The feeling of coming 'Home',
the certainty that I could finally
satiate
my cravings
and it was…
bittersweet.
I relished
in anticipation
for each dish
I had salivated over
and another part of me
realized that
I could never be
satiated.
Thoughts of crepes
and the french conversations in France,
oat cakes, instant coffee with gluten free buns and late night sharings in the UK,
pastel de nata and the laughter whilst walking the streets of Lisbon...
all came to mind.
Food became
another way
of associating
different travel destinations
and sensations.
Memories captured forever
in bite sized,
flavorful,
mouth watering
moments
of delight.
For a moment
I was filled
with a hint
of melancholy…
then another butterfly appeared
and I was reminded of the Present.
I was like that butterfly,
I flitted about
traveling to different destinations…
sending and receiving love notes
of my own…
And I was welcomed Home again.
Embraced and engulfed
by all that had passed
and what has yet to manifest.
Home was this Moment.
Home was Love and Acceptance.
Home was Right Here…
flitting on the small wings of the butterfly,
my skin kissed by the Sun…
on the ends of my fingertips…
and in my Heart
where
Love knows no bounds…
